An Introduction: AKA The Incomplete & Under Caffeinated Biography of Jillian Nichole

Getting to know me, getting to know all about me….

If you didn’t immediately hear Julie Andrews ala The Sound of Music, I’m very disappointed in you...

Seeing as how I’ve officially started this writing thing, I thought that perhaps a proper introduction is in order- so here you go, in no particular order, an incomplete and under caffeinated biography of me…

{A parade of fluff, a fantastic yarn of cotton candy facts..}

I am obsessed with all things Hello Kitty- And yes, I did make an appearance at the inaugural Hello Kitty Con in 2014, in costume I might add, it was only fitting after all.

I am solely devoted to my Barbie heels, well shoes in general, the taller the better- anything that gives you the impression that I have the height of a runway model…

I am a collector of keys, but not of the car variety.

My Instagram game is strong. I love capturing the still frames of life. And if not Instagram, I run a photography business called JillianNichole Photography. Have camera, will travel…

I love coffee cups so much so that I have a very large, eclectic collection of said cups, one for every occasion, because Boxing Day is a thing you know...

Books are my happy place.

And coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. If you know, you know.

And pajamas. Seriously so many pajamas, my neighbor appreciates this, although of late he has been somewhat disappointed- our oh-so-delightful awkward neighbor encounters in which Jillian has inevitably forgotten something in her car that absolutely must be retrieved *right now* because clearly whatever it is cannot wait for neither a robe nor daylight (don’t judge, Peanut M&M’s are a life emergency…) I digress, after our 3^rd awkward neighbor encounter, Jillian invested in outdoor pajamas, because one cannot have enough pajamas, outdoor or otherwise, I should know, I have a ridiculous amount of both…

I speak in memes. So many memes. Memes upon memes. Because reasons…

I still send postcards.

Music is my passion. Amoeba Records has a permanent piece of my heart.

I write letters that I never send.

On most days, my hands are almost always covered in ink stains.

Ink on skin is a beautiful thing to me.

I measure the weight of words, spoken and unspoken because the greatest lesson that life has taught me is that a wise woman knows when to speak and when not to speak.

My grandmother was my most favorite person. I can still smell her perfume that I dabbed onto my skin the day that she passed from this earth. I miss her fiercely.

New York is my favorite city thus far. From Brooklyn to the Bronx, that city is imprinted in my bones.

Were I ever to have disposable funds, I would buy a pair of Converse in every color and pattern because aside from my Barbie heels, I live in my Converse.

I went to Africa, cliché as it might be, it changed my life. I still have the red stains of Kenyan soil on my Converse, I carry Kenya with me every day.

When I need to untangle my thoughts, I turn up my stereo and drive for hours. On one such night, I made it halfway to Vegas…

I still look for constellations but the only one that I can actually identify is the Big Dipper, thank you Mr. Snyder for that one, I'm still sorry that I blew up the chem lab (yes you read that correctly, I blew up the chem lab…)

I will never best you at a game of Scrabble or Words With Friends because I lack strategy, however, I will create words that upon occasion you will applaud me for.

***

{Notes of substance, beware the elephants in the room, noisy lot, those ones...}

I am both a sexual abuse and multiple rape survivor.

Both domestic violence and stalking are a part of my story.

These acts were perpetrated by several men over several years.

I never reported any of these events. Not. Ever.

I swallowed secrets and silence for decades.

It nearly destroyed me.

I began using drugs at 13.

I started drinking at 16.

I was a cutter. I still struggle with sharp objects…

At 21, I was diagnosed with manic depression (Bipolar disorder) and post traumatic stress disorder.

I swam through 15 years of anorexia and bulimia.

I’ve weathered 13 suicide attempts.

I did 8 stints in dual diagnosis rehab/ hospitalizations.

On May 22, 2017, after 14 years of trying to get sober, I celebrated my first consecutive year of sobriety.

I lost almost everything in the process.

But I gained the integrity of living an honest brokenness.

Sometimes it’s a bittersweet trade off.

And yet, in the wreckage of loss, I began to uncover what was true.

And after years of silence, I began to speak.

And I decided that I will not stay silent any more because if no one is going to talk about it than I will.

If I could tell you anything, what I would want you to know about me is that even on my worst day, the aim of my heart is to fight with all my life for what is true.

***

Cliff Notes...

Once upon a time, long ago and far away, I met a boy who asked me a question: “So what kind of girl are you anyway?” After a brief pause, I looked into his emerald eyes and I offered up the most firm and unapologetic answer that I have ever given- “I’m the kind of girl that will surprise you in the end.”

And so there you go, I hope you like surprises and plot twists as much as I do because in this story anything can happen…

[Insert witty ending statement...]

-Jillian Nichole, a very inept biographer...