In the profound wisdom of the great, albeit, fictionalized
character of Dr. Leo Marvin, baby steps, it’s all about baby steps because the
journey of a thousand miles begins with baby steps Bob, baby steps…
“…baby steps to the elevator, baby steps on the elevator…ahhh,
I’m on the elevator!” [-Bob, from What About Bob]
I have a death grip on my suitcase. And Bob the goldfish, my
official trip backpack mascot is smiling at me as we walk to the counter.
Passport in hand, I stand before the KLM ticketing agent and
exchange the few pleasantries my brain can process.
Business or pleasure? Um. The second one. Fingers crossed.
And I see you’re traveling to Dublin, nice this time of year.
Nod head, smile, yes, so I’ve read.
Have a safe flight, ma’am. Thank you.
I am walking in a sea of people, passports in hands, carry
on rollers, small children, elderly women, newlyweds, exchange students,
together, we ebb and flow, until I am walking through the last of the security check
points.
My head is a maze of disconnected thoughts…I didn’t lose
that 10 pounds before the grand holiday, oh well, no TSA pat down- damn, guess
I’ll have to save my new Tinder one liner for the next go around, I cannot believe
that I forgot my inhaler, hope my asthma behaves, my make-up is really on point
today…Holy Shit THIS. IS. HAPPENING., maybe I should have a cookie….
I’m sitting at a big picture window overlooking a humid,
hazy, Los Angeles afternoon, planes taxi and lift and fly off into the horizon.
Two hours. Two hours and I am boarding my flight. Baby steps.
That I am making such a big deal out of this must seem the
height of absurdity to most people. Because it’s all so normal and yet if you
only knew what this moment meant, I look around and I feel those words dancing
on my tongue, if you only knew what this moment is for a woman like me, if you
only knew.
Baby steps.
Bob the goldfish and I are hanging out, and I am eating a
chocolate chip cookie, watching the sky, breathing….
Next stop, Amsterdam….
Because holy shit, this is happening….
-Jillian Nichole, a fan of baby steps…
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