Monday, July 17th, 2017
"Say what you need to say and let the words fall out honestly, I want to see you be brave..."
[-Sara Bareilles]
I am sitting in a Starbucks because coffee, of course. Of late, all
of my thoughts seem to be endlessly tangled, an incomplete solar system of scattered and fragmented moments. It’s been a
strange season, this past year, and all of it has built up inside of me this
Lego house of moments, because mine is a heart that does not empty; I am a
collector. My therapist Heather, god bless her heart, is forever telling me,
that ‘there’s a book in there somewhere.’ And my sister keeps asking when the
copy is coming to her Kindle…It’s an idea that I’ve played around with, this
book, letters on pages spilling the contents of ink and blood. Because as it
has been said to me, mine is seemingly a life stranger than fiction. Certainly,
a life built by extreme parallels- how do you even begin to write that? And even
still, who would read it? But as I sit here, drinking down my third cup off coffee,
it occurs to me that long before the question was ever asked, it seems to
me that I have always been in the process of writing it; I’ve years’ worth of
journals and raw Facebook posts, you’re welcome Facebook…It’s all there in
jagged little pieces. Because after all, I am a collector. And a storyteller. It’s
in my DNA. At present, I am not quite sure what this is, perhaps simply little vignettes
of a book in process. Or maybe just a place to explore the four corners of my mind.
Whatever this is, be it a collection of moments, a place of confession, musings
of the mundane, the profound, and the infinite in-between, I vow that it will
be an honest, beautiful mess; And so it should be established that inside these
pages, my heart will bleed through my hands unfiltered. Curse words. Prayers. 3am
conversations. Doubts. Questions. Longing. Etc. Etc. Ect. A narrative unraveled…
And so here I go, coffee and ink stains….Welcome to the
bravest thing that I have ever done, sit back, drink coffee, take what fits and
leave the rest…
All my love,
Jillian Nichole~
Jillian ! I love that you are doing this. Always one of your biggest fans. Thank you for sharing your gift ! Love you and oh so proud of you. Xoxo
ReplyDeleteJust started drinking my coffee. On to post #2... So glad you are writing!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you're having coffee whilst reading this blog entitled "Coffee and..." It's been good writing this thing...thank you for your encouragement!
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